How Many FTE?

"So, how many FTE will this position be serving?" The slick candidate from the failed mutual fund looks at me as if he's nailed this question. He's interviewing for our entry-level helpdesk position.

Hiring, for me, is tenuous. I've told Sara, our High School Integrator, that I look for myself when I hire. Her comment: "Oh. That's not good." I suppose, in a pure, theoretical way, it's pretty bad. However, I like to think that my temperment and skills lend themselves very well to a school environment.

"FTE isn't really a relevant number in a school..." I say this cautiously. I know several things about this guy already. He thinks that because he worked at a high-pressure mutual fund that K-12 is an obvious breeze. I'm not enthusiastic about that misconception.

George, our recent hire for the same helpdesk position, lasted approximately three months. He seemed a good pick at the start: a recent college grad, smart, learns fast, had briefly worked in sales at a large computer company, but was looking for something softer. He'd come as a recommendation from my boyfriend, Scott, who'd handled some purchasing through George and was impressed by his knowledge and enthusiasm for technology and not-for-profits. He was even interested in teaching! You can't buy entry-level candidates like George. At least, not on paper.

Unfortunately, George was not suited to Childrens Prep. At least, not in a helpdesk way. He quickly got caught up in the gossip and drama that surrounds, especially, young people entering a school for the first time. He became almost paranoid, and, at first, I found myself getting swept up in it. And then, a few things started to click when I would gently approach people about the supposed fiery interaction George had with them. They, often, had no idea what I was talking about. I did my best to talk him down, because he was, at the end of the day, personable and a fast learner. But, he resigned when he saw the NAIS Job Board up on my screen and assumed I was going to fire him. He didn't even give himself a chance.

Of course, Childrens Prep is ripe with folks who, when they are angry or upset, are really eager to tell their colleagues that they think you may be incompetent. Its not the case in all schools, but it is a Childrens Prep. It's upsetting at first, especially when you walk into one of those conversations. That is, until you realize that it's easy to swing from incompetent to brilliant several times a day. And at the end, they'll tell the parents, alumni and administration that you're great and they couldn't live without you. Even if their mouse isn't working. Although, sometimes, they will throw that last part in, too. But I can empathise.

Mr. Slick shakes his head, "No, I mean, how many full time employees do you have?" He says this slowly, so that I'll know what he meant by FTE.

"I know. You have to remember, in a school, not everyone gets their own computer, and you're serving the students, too."

"Yeah, but," he jumps in. I cut him off.

"Full Time Employees, we have 120. Students? That's more like 450. And I'd expect you'd serve their needs, too, when it comes to the machines they use. So, it could be 58, or it could be more than 500. In the summer, it's more like 20. There's no final answer on that question. I think a better question is how many computers do we have to support. The answer to that hovers around 380."

He nods and makes a note in the leather Trapper Keeper he's been carrying with him and smirks at the paper. He still thinks it's going to be easy.

Later, after dropping Mr. Slick off at the parking lot, Sara and I are walking back to our offices.

"I didn't like him one bit." Sara says this quickly.

"He was OK. He was just very...." I pause.

"He was very corporate. I have an MBA. I know guys like that. He just wouldn't work here." She thinks for a moment. "I mean, I didn't know what schools were like until I started teaching. I realized very quickly that skills you need to work in a business are not the same skills you need to work at a school."

I've been in schools my entire career, so I'm not sure how to answer her, but I'm pretty sure I know what she's talking about.

"I liked the guy yesterday." Sara closes her thought. The guy who came yesterday did tech for a small church in the area. "He was like the male version of you."

I smile.